Today is the Day I Change My Life Forever

So today is Sunday... I am now considering this day the beginning of my week due to the fact that my supply of Dr. Pepper ran out yesterday which means my eating habits take a dramatic shift today. I am a Dr. Pepper addict. Cutting me from the delicious beverage is going to be quite difficult but it's something I must do to lose the 22 pounds I must lose before we start IVF in October. Currently my BMI is 32.8. My doctor requires it to be under 30 before she will put me on the countless medications before the egg retrival. Because most people can't believe that I weigh as much as I do, here is my proof...

Most of the people who see me can't believe that this number is really mine. They don't believe it because I'm fortunate enough to be 6'0" tall and have somehow managed to evenly distribute this alarming amount of weight. But, nevertheless, the weight is mine and I now own it. *I also apologize for the tiny hole forming in my sock. Ha!* Today my life style changes. I must start working out on a regular basis. I'm cutting out carbonated beverages completely, which includes the 24 cans of Coke Zero my husband has sitting in the fridge. No more sweets... this is going to be especially hard since I LOVE baking. What do I love more than baking? Eating what I've baked. Hahaha! One healthy way to get my fill of sweets is by eating more fruit. I love fruit but I hate cutting it up and preparing it unless I'm doing it for a purpose other than me. So, one of my very good friends was told by a nutritionist to buy fruit and veggie trays from your local grocery store. All of it is already prewashed and prepared, all you have to do it throw it into little seperate baggies and go. I LOVE this idea! My only problem with this will be only eating small portions. I think I can do it though. I've found myself putting smaller portions on my plate and not going back for more. Apparently, this little method has already begun working because the last time I weighed myself I was 248.8 pounds.

So, in a better, easier way to read, this is my goal:

• Work out or go for a walk everyday if possible. At least, every other day. 
• Eat more fruits and veggies but in correct portions.
• Eat smaller portions of food. If I'm still hungry after 20 minutes, eat a small, healthy snack.
• No more junk food. Think HEALTHY! Chicken, turkey, vegetables, fruits.
• No more carbonated beverages. I must kiss Dr. Pepper goodbye.
• Think more positive. I have to remember that all of this change is for an even greater change. This change is for my future child and I want to make sure that child is born healthy and has a healthy mom to keep up with him/her (maybe even them).

Now, I'm going to be realistic about this new transformation. I won't stick to it completely. I say this not trying to sound like I'm dooming myself but because I have now been living in England for a year. I fly back home to Texas in June.... There WILL be Mexican food digested into my body for the 3 weeks that I'm there. Thats all there is to it. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE Mexican food. My mom ate it the entire time she was pregnant with me and I started slurping salasa off the end of tortilla chips when I was only 4 months old. Mexican food is in my DNA. If there is one food I can pick to define me... it's mexican.

Now back to reality... I want to feel better about myself. I want to look in a mirror and not be discusted by what I see. I want to make love to my husband and not have that small voice in the back of my head wondering if he is actually seeing me instead of envisioning someone else. John has lost over 50 pounds since we got married. His weight was kind of like my security blanket for a while. I liked that he was heavier than me... granted it was only a couple of pounds but still. Now that he has lost the weight, I feel guilty for the way I felt. His father died of a massive heart attack when he was young and he lost that weight so that he could live longer than his father did. He wants to be there to watch his children graduate from high school, to graduate from college. He wants to be there when our daughter gets married and walks her down the aisle. He wants to see his grandchildren after they are born. For a long time after he lost the weight, I thought he did it to make me feel bad about myself. Shame on me! He did to be a better person. Now I want to be a better person. I want to make sure that I'm healthy enough to support our child/ren throughout the pregnancy. I want to make sure that my baby(ies) will be healthy when they are born. I want to make sure that I'm healthy enough to watch them grow up and thrive. I want to be here, to experience everything. I want to feel good and I want to look good and I just want to be a healthier me. I also want to make sure that I'm able to be here for John. I want him to still be attracted to me and I want him to WANT to be here and celebrate our 50th anniversary. (Now please don't get me wrong, I am not saying he doesn't want to be here and that he doesn't find me attactive... I'm just saying that I want to stop having that stupid little voice in my head tell me differently)

Today is the day I change my life forever. I've set my eye on the goal and I'm not stopping until I get there.... and even then I'll probably keep going.

Now there is one thing I will ask of my followers:
Please share with me any inspriational songs you may have or think of to put on my iPod during my work outs. Also, Rome wasn't built in a day so I also ask that you not only keep me in your prayers and ask God to shower me with strength. And last but not least, I'm the type of person who needs inspirational praise. Hearing that I'm doing a good job always adds fuel to my fire. Some people slow down once they have heard those two words.... not me. That just means I'm doing something right and I'm going to keep doing it until the deed is done. : )

Before I go, I've seen some bloggers who have posted before and after pictures of themselves before they changed their lifestyle.... I'm on the fence about doing this... I would hate to scare off all of you. Ha!