Full of Good News

For the first time in a very long time (probably 2 years to be exact), I am very, very happy!!!


A couple of weeks ago, I never would have thought saying that sentance above would have been possible. Things have been on a downward spiral ever since we moved to England. Things kept going wrong and then we were told that having children without the need of IVF was no longer an option. Mine and John's hearts both broke. I think we layed in the hospital bed together and cried for nearly an hour. I was furious with God. After leaving the hospital, I took a turn for the worst. Thoughts of death (not suicide.... I believe that's the single most selfish thing anyone could do) consumed me. I just wanted to die. I wanted God to take me from the world and end all my suffering. I couldn't take anymore negative things happening to me. I had two major break downs infront of John and I just knew he was thinking I should be locked in an institution.


Luckily, greatfully, I can finally say that things are looking up. Granted, they aren't working out the way I wanted them to but plans never do. God pushed me to my breaking point to show me exactly how strong I can be and now He is lifting me back up....


Wednesday, March 16th, we had an appointment with Dr. S. Before we went in, I sat in the waiting room preparing myself to hear the words that had brought me down so far all over again. Once we went in, she was very kind and gentle and avoided using any wording that made her say IVF is your only option. She went though all the photos with me again, John asked why my tubes can't be repaired and she answered. The whole time I was sitting there wondering why I hadn't started crying. Then, she delievered the news that made all the pain go away. IVF is only going to cost us $4100 instead of the $9000 we had originally thought. Wahoo!!!! $4100 is a number we can afford.... $9000, not so much. She gave us information booklets to read and a paper with the dates of the class we are required to attend before starting IVF. There was some concern that we wouldn't be able to start the IVF until I had my 3rd round of injections (for a totally different matter). This wait would put us back 6 months. I haven't had my cycle for this month which was likely disrupted by the surgery at the end of last month so she gave me a perscription to take in order to start.


Instead of just waiting for it, I'm going to take the medication because this will get our IVF process started. On the 5th day of my cycle, I have to go in for a special xray which will confirm the results of the surgery. After the xray, I will have a follow up appointment with Dr. S. Now, I'm not positive about what exactly is going to happen at this follow up appointment but i THINK that she will be giving me the perscriptions to start my medications and injections. After that I will have a nurse consaltation appointment which is when we are required to pay our fee. After this appointment we do the egg retrival and John's "donation", they will combine the two in a dish and let John's swimmers to their job. They watch the egss grow after fertilization, pick the best embryo and then will transfer it into my uterus a few days later. After the transfer, I will have to wait 2 weeks, then take a pregnancy test. This test will show us our future.


Okay, now that you know the IVF process, here is more good news we got. The $4100 we pay is for everything except medications. John wanted me to be positive that our insurance is willing to cover it so I called and had them check on it. I stopped into the office to see what they had found out before leaving base on Thursday and...... EVERYTHING is covered except the actual procedure..... which means.... We may not have to pay the full $4100!!! Even less money! Wahoo!!!!!


The insurance office just happens to be located inside the medical clinic, so before leaving, I was able to find out from one of the doctors that my set of injections will NOT interfere with the IFV!!! Yay!!!!


I have been in such a great mood ever since finding out. Friday and Saturday were both BEAUTIFUL days! I loved that the Yorkshire weather was finally matching my mood.... and in a GOOD way!!!


Sorry for all the exclamation marks but that just happens to be exactly how excited I am. I can't get over that in less than a month, I went from being at my lowest low ever to being so extremely high. I can't say my highest high because that hasn't happened yet.... it will happen the day I see a heartbeat inside my tummy on a little black and white screen. : )