Yesterday I found out that the hospital we will be receiving the IVF at requires the full $4100 up front on the day of our nurse consultation. They won't allow me to get an itemized bill and have my insurance cover their part. Instead, we must pay the full amount. There is a chance that after paying, we could possibly get a break down and then have our insurance company reimburse us. I'm not at all happy with this news but it is what it is and I can't argue since this is the place that could possibly make my dreams come true.
Now, John and I have a dilemma. We are trying to decide what is more important: John being here for the birth of our first child(ren) or him being here for all of their firsts (words, steps, crawling, etc.) Due to the fact that John will be deploying next year, how do we want to play this? We could wait for him to come back and him be there for all of it, but that puts us at only having 6 months to try the IVF and pray it works before moving. What if it doesn't work? I can't get the IVF done in Korea so that would mean John would either lose his dream of having biological children and us adopt, or have to wait another 3 years before going back to the States.
For all of you reading this who have children, tell me your opinion. Would you rather give birth without your husband? Or not see any of your kids' firsts?
Now, add this into the mix... If we wait until September or October to do the IVF and it works, then my parents could be here for the birth of the baby(ies). Does that change your opinion any?
I'm serious about getting your advice. I really want to know what you think. Tell me :-)
If it were me, I would have my husband miss the birth vs the first year. The birth is a very special time no doubt and it is a huge bonding experience for the two of you, but if I HAD to choose, I would choose for him to miss that and to be able to bond with our child(ren) for their first year. I firmly believe that the relationship/bond that Trapper and Bobby have now started when Bobby kept Trapp his first year of life. They learn to depend on their dad and bond with him and thats so special. Its a tough call either way, but if I were you, thats what I would choose.
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